AN UNHINGED FANTASY NOVEL

WANTED

for the theft of one (1) witch's cat
& the accidental return of dragons

HAROLD
HAROLDa horny man
GLADIUS
GLADIUSa vain “Cavaliere”
SOLA
SOLAa useless healer
BARLEY
BARLEYa drug addict
MELANA
MELANAa bound witch
MORTIMER
MORTIMERa homeless mystic
REWARD: ABSOLUTELY NOTHINGthe realm just wants them to stop
The Worst Party in the Realm — book cover

full account of the incident.
by Lucas Schiavini.
“I'm sorry the villain has to deal with them.”
— anyone who has met the party

HELP WANTED: BETA READERS

Brave souls needed to read the first draft and report findings. No healing provided (our healer is useless). Coin not included. Glory possible.

PLEDGE THYSELF →
OVERHEARD AT THE BARsworn testimony of the first readers
“I remember reading the book until 3 or 4 a.m. the night I first picked it up. Even though I had class the next day.”
ROSA · patron ✠
“The stuff you came up with, not just the overall story, but the smaller details. I just find it brilliant. And I've read a million books in my life. I'm not just saying.”
DAMARIS · patron ✠
“I got emotional at some points. I was not expecting it. The friendship is so genuine. I was like, oh my god, this is so emotional.”
LATEEPHA · patron ✠
“It's too funny for me to get bored.”
SIMBIAT · patron ✠
“I loved how you managed to stay believable while taking everything to such a ridiculous level. I actually recommended it to a friend while the Google Doc was still open.”
ROSA · patron ✠
“I really think it has Lord of the Rings potential. Movies, merch, all the package.”
DAMARIS · patron ✠
“The story is getting more interesting. I'm enjoying every bit of it, sincerely. I just want to continue to discover what's going to happen next. I applaud your efforts.”
LATEEPHA · patron ✠
“One thing I like about your chapters: they all come stronger than the previous ones.”
SIMBIAT · patron ✠
ON THE PRESSESthe series, as the scribe gets to it
Cover: The Worst Party in the Realm
FIRST EPIC
1st draft done
AT THE EDITOR
Cover: How To Survive In the Forsaken Lands
SHORT TALE
1st draft ongoing
WET INK
Cover: The Wiggling Pink Knight
SHORT TALE
1st draft ongoing
WET INK

poster not yet nailed —
the party returns here

THE BARD'S CORNERa companion, while you read

What the scribe listens to while writing. Some of these tracks named chapters.

— play it loud, the dragons don't mind

ABOUT THE SCRIBELucas Schiavini, of the sunday afternoons

WHO WRITES THIS NONSENSE?

A programmer by day, indiehacker by night, and writer on sunday afternoons at my local coffeeshop, where I write this book for 4 hours every week.

Faithful hound Lily supervises every chapter and has yet to approve one.

— Lucas & Lily
 
Lucas and Lily the dog — photo 1 of 9
Lucas & Lily
Lucas and Lily the dog — photo 2 of 9
Lucas & Lily
Lucas and Lily the dog — photo 3 of 9
Lucas & Lily
Lucas and Lily the dog — photo 4 of 9
Lucas & Lily
Lucas and Lily the dog — photo 5 of 9
Lucas & Lily
Lucas and Lily the dog — photo 6 of 9
Lucas & Lily
Lucas and Lily the dog — photo 7 of 9
Lucas & Lily
Lucas and Lily the dog — photo 8 of 9
Lucas & Lily
Lucas and Lily the dog — photo 9 of 9
Lucas & Lily