An Unhinged Fantasy Novel

A horny man.
A vain “Cavaliere.”
An useless healer
An illiterate janitor.

Four idiots tried to steal a witch's cat. They accidentally brought dragons back to life.

⛧ herein lies record of crimes both petty and grave: theft, narcosis, dragons, the death of one (1) familiar ⛧
A Sample

This is how it begins.

The plan was simple: distract the witch, steal her cat, return the cat, receive gratitude, possibly see her naked. Harold saw no flaws in this.

‘I just don't see how that's a bad thing,’ said Harold. ‘You keep telling me it's a bad thing but I just don't see it.’

‘You were in her closet to see her naked, Harold. She must have been terrified once she saw you there.’

‘A man has needs. Plus, she shouldn't be changing clothes next to her window if she doesn't want to draw attention.’

Across the table, Gladius was engaged in something far more important than the moral failings of his two companions. The grey-skinned orc two tables over had made the dire mistake of looking in his direction, and Gladius had decided this was a challenge. He had not blinked for four whole minutes, and was very proud of this.

— Chapter I: The Party Steals a Cat
Read the Full Draft →Opens the working Google Doc. Yes, the typos are still in there. Comments welcome.
The Manuscript So Far

Chapters in progress.

The Scribe

About Lucas Schiavini

I'm a programmer by day, indiehacker by night, and writer on sunday afternoons on my local coffeeshop, where I write this book for 4 hours every week.